Panicky!!!

OMB!!! I totally Screwed my life! Okay, since nobody stalks my blog, it's like a 21st century diary to me. Okay, here goes nothing, some friends knows that I like a guy, which is known as Jellybean. Okay, when I first saw Jellybean last year when I started off in Kechara, well, girls are girls right, and so i thought that he was cute. Don't get me startled on this okay, he is cute. So Gompa opening was coming and I saw him more often, then I got to know that he has a good personality and at the same time, he's open minded unlike teens nowadays. So well, I fell for him. Hard to admit that I did but I did at the end.

Okay, I've been trying to keep it low and not let the news go into his ears. Till sunday(1-5-2011), Beatrix told me that many ppl knew bout it and even Jellybean himself. Obviously my reaction was like "OMG!!!" (Joyce likes it when I go hyper because of him, cause she said that I was cute with the hyper-ness) Ok, back to the subject. I asked her how did everybody ended up knowing, and to my surprise she said that Wee Liang told everybody. I went to Wee Liang and asked him, he said he did not tell anyone as he had promised me. Then I started to wonder what was the cause. And Beatrix told me maybe it's because of my statuses on Facebook! I jumped up and squealed in my high-piched voice.(I might sound like a chipmunk sometimes, hehe) And Darn it!!! I've screwed my life! I have never liked a guy this much before and before I knew it, I've just screwed it myself. I mean awww man, like c'mon. There are many reasons why I like him, eventhough we don't really chat that much. But if you knew my reasons for liking him, you would understand why I like him so much.

You see, Jellybean is different from the others. He's caring, loyal and fun, plus many more stuff. I mean where in the world can you find a guy who is dedicated enough to do dharma, it's just rare. And because of that, you can tell that he's a really nice guy. Besides that, he's cool with many things and here i mention it again, Open minded too! And he's sporty and from Kechara. He would actually understand how I feel because my friends just don't get why I'd rather go to Kechara then going out almost every week. Hello, life in Kechara is fun and full of surprises. So I love going there, it's like my second home. At first I thought that Jellybean won't like me cause he might think that I'm a very boring person who always stay in Kechara and seldom hangout with my friends. Well, I do like him alot, like alot-alot. I do wish that he'll like me back but, the possibility of the chances are low. I use to think of what Tabby said, many ppl meet their future husbands when their 16, it's just they wouldn't know it yet. I mean like hello, come back down to earth. It's reality not a fairytale.(Now you know my fairytale, haha, just joking round) But, I get a little panicky when I see him and when he's around, that's what Joyce meant by cute, cause you can actually see me jumpin around. I really wanted to say hi or just a simple hey to him, but it's hard cause I usually mess up my words when I am nervous. But how I do wish that he'll come up to me and talk to me and then ask for my number(haha kidding, but I wish it'll happen). But for all I know, I'm just gonna stay cool with it and pretend that I don't know that they know that I like him, but I still do like him. Oh well, I guess that's what you get for being hyper and jumpy all the time, not to mention a little to open till it slipped through ppl's thoughts.